The combination is 1-2-3-4-5!

INTERNET PASSWORD LOGBOOK is probably a paper slip that you can remove, and then it’ll just be a blank leather journal.

Now a REALLY secure physical logbook would just have the cover of a boring, unremarkable-looking book on the outside.

So, Ricky Nightshade?

And the rest of the people in the room, in front of and behind the camera, don’t immediately shut him down, cut to commercial, and then return with an apology for having platformed a fucking Nazi.

You know what they say about a Nazi at the table and ten other people sitting there talking to him…

Q: What do you call a doctor who is three sheets to the wind by mid-afternoon?

A: Doctor.

Money may not buy happiness, but it can buy a jetski, and have you ever seen someone look sad on a jetski?

DO NOT CREATE THE TORMENT NEXUS

I saw a car with these two bumper stickers:

That was a very confusing day for me.

There’s no way in fucking Hell that Trump would willingly stand in the way of a bullet.

There’s no way in fucking Hell that Trump could keep quiet about it if he was actually an active participant in a conspiracy. He’d have tweeted about it by the end of the week.

There’s no way in fucking Hell that the people around Trump could orchestrate an attempted assassination without it blowing up in their faces somehow.

The ear was probably hit by a tiny fleck of glass from a shattered teleprompter, and then with Trump no doubt on blood thinners it would bleed like all get out.

Just keep assuming ever greater stupidity and incompetence all around and you’ll usually arrive at the correct answer as to what happened.

Anon:

I assumed that it meant “toast.”

As a baby, my kid had cheeks that would visibly jiggle when we wheeled her stroller down a bumpy driveway.

We would sing a song about her: Fat fat, baby fat-fat. Fatty baby fatty baby, fatty fat-fat. Fatty fat cheeks! Baby fat cheeks! Baby fat, baby fat, fatty fat fat.

She didn’t seem to mind.

Literally this

Homophobes: “We can’t legalize gay marriage! The birth rate would collapse! If men could marry men, then what reasonable man would ever choose to marry a disgusting, weak, woman over a strong, virile, muscular, sweaty, musky, oily, maaaannnnnn…”

The rest of us: Dude. Bro. Dude.

A “New York minute” is defined as the time between when the light turns green and when a New York driver will honk their horn at you.

Trump got about the same number of votes in 2024 as he did when he lost back in 2020, whereas Harris got fewer votes than Biden did, so strictly speaking we are getting exactly what all too many of us didn’t vote for.

Don’t forget to make the working conditions inhumane and unsafe for the workers building the place! That could probably shave off a few hours, too!

I’m so fucking sick of people complaining about what the Democrats should have done years ago when the Republicans have been actively disassembling this country for my entire adult life, and are really getting down to the “rip out the wiring and sell it for scrap copper” phase.