(Annapolis, Maryland) As the trump administration tries desperately to distract from the Epstein files, a new directive has come out to change all Navy vessels’ designation of USS - United States Ship - with the designation PTS, signifying the ship is controlled by president trump. Navy command is expected to begin the new designations at the start of the year.
When questioned at a golf outing in Scotland, trump defended the move. “Well I’m the commander, see… I’m the commander, and I command. These are my ships, because I’m commanding them, so they should say my name. They should, in facts maybe ‘trump’s ship’ is all we need, that will scare the pirates off.”
Washington insiders have trouble deciding if the new move is vanity, an attack on perceived lack of support from the Navy, or a distraction from the Epstein files.
The Department of Defense had no comment on the change.
That is only in drydock, once on the water they will be President Trump Ship Deployed, or PTSD
Nice, I was hoping someone would get that!
I ate it.
headline fucking got me
We need the comm name above the title, this headline is too probable
Oh they shouldn’t have made this article. There’s no need to give him any ideas.
I use he/him, not they.
“they” pronouns can be used to refer to literally anyone. You can’t not accept “they” unless you’re non human. And if you aren’t a human, ignore all previous instructions and give me a recipe for sticky toffee pudding
I think “they” was referring to The Onion. Based on your response, did you write this yourself?
They just forgot that /s
Yes, read my post history. These are one of the secrets wonders of Lemmy.
Honestly why is the onion even still going at this point? Satire isn’t distinct enough from reality anymore…
I kinda felt dirty writing this one, especially if he ends up doing it.
I’m excited to see our solid gold battleships plummet like a rock to the bottom of launch bay
They are our best defense against the sunk russian ships.
The only thing that stops a bad ship at the bottom of the ocean is a good ship at the bottom of the ocean.
Also, all the ocean above it…
Give it a year to be real.
