

I feel that a good therapist could help you work through this fear of going outside. You may not find one locally that vibes with you. Televisits are how I meet with mine. Beyond that, do you have a friend that you could travel with? Columbus is pretty progressive, and you could visit other cities with strong queer communities which could help you build confidence that going out into the world is not as dangerous for you as the close-minded people have conditioned you to believe. The more you do it, the easier it becomes, so they say (this may sound unrealistic when you’re at the very beginning of your journey to a better life, but you may find it to be true if you keep putting yourself out there as much as you can tolerate).
Other than that, I can say with certainty that there are women out there who are attracted to men like you. Ironically, you might find them in gay bars. I happen to be a woman like this, and apparently through high school dated boys who eventually came out of the closet (though not because of them not exactly fitting the traditional straight male persona, but because they were gentle and kind and witty and smart and a little bit sassy). This was early 90s in a very very religious and conservative area somewhat straight south from you, so I may relate in some way to the hate you’ve experienced. Those boys may have known all along about their sexuality and were masking, but at least one of them didn’t figure it out until after he was married to a woman.
Anyway, I find I am way more comfortable in a gay bar setting, just not so much on ladies’ night, lol. And not just in a gay bar but also in the day to day queer spaces where acceptance is pretty much infused throughout the environment. Those places exist, and you would be welcome there.
So did you choose Motley Crüe, Poison, maybe Cinderella?
What are their care and feeding habits?