Subject: Fire. Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to inform you of a fire that has broken out on the premises of 123 Cavendon Road… no, that’s too formal. [deletes text, starts again] Fire - exclamation mark - fire - exclamation mark - help me - exclamation mark. 123 Cavendon Road. Looking forward to hearing from you. Yours truly, Maurice Moss.

If this frog comes back in my sleep, it’s probably just to check if I’ve been drinking enough water and practicing self-care. That’s not murder, that’s an emotional support amphibian.