This is an onion article, right?

Now that you bring it up, of course we’ve studied whether babies can be made in a spaceship. It’s literally the only other option for interstellar travel besides cryogenic freezing, which is far more sci-fi than spacesex. Or spacex for short.

If only there was some way to warn people of serious weather conditions. Maybe in 100 years the tech will exist to predict, notify, and evacuate people in a timely manner before the storms arrive.