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Cake day: July 31st, 2023

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  • For me, it’s hard to say one or the other is worse. It might depend on circumstances. Is someone making a false claim of rape worse than someone raping someone, or worse than a child rapist, serial rapist, etc? In damage collectively done to all victims, quite possibly. However, the intention of the false witness isn’t usually to delegitimize the claims of other victims. It’s usually shortsited and desperate - a desire to avoid social consequences or to punish the accused. I suspect such false claims are also more common among a younger, naive, immature population. It’s fucked up and selfish, surely. As fucked up as feeling you have the right to use another person’s body for your own physical pleasure or to assert dominance or whatever shit goes through a rapists mind? I don’t know.

    Frankly, I’ve never been the victim or perpetrator of either crime, nor have I even been in a situation where either crossed my mind. All I’m qualified to say is that I wish neither crimes would happen to anyone.


  • This is maybe not what some would consider great advice but “you aren’t ready for a relationship” isn’t really fair. As you said:

    But how do I get matured?

    For me, a vital part of growing as a person has been experiencing the messiness of life. Failing and learning.

    I’ve known the situation you described - planning things with someone you have a real interest in, someone who seemed interested in spending time with you. Placing high importance on the event in your mind only to have the event fall apart because it wasn’t a priority for them. Feeling upset and even jealous. I told her I was upset that she blew me off. It did not go well and she lost interest. That’s not to say this will happen to you, but my experience helped teach me to regulate my interest and my expectations because I didn’t want that to happen again. I also became more mature.

    Yes, you should try to find a few friends if you don’t have any. Making new ones is hard but it’s important. I’m not exactly neutotypical and socializing is not something I enjoy most of the time. Still, it’s something that has been valuable to me. It’s kind of like a lower stakes relationship. You like them and care about them - you want to be helpful, do right by them, etc. If you feel clueless about interpersonal relationships you should make friends.

    When my previous long-term relationship ended, she was very social and her friend group had become my friend group. I’d only had a few of my own friends and they had moved away or we’d been growing apart. When things ended, I needed to find new friends so I know how hard it can be. I recommend you find something you enjoy, offline if you can, and do that thing with people who also like to do that thing. For me it was board games, video games, TTRPGs, climbing, and hiking. I don’t love all those things but I can get enough enjoyment out of them for it to be worth expending the social energy maybe twice a week, if I had the energy for it. Eventually, after doing this for a few years (while I was in my mid 30s), I found a few people I got along with pretty well. They are now my friends. As a plus, doing things with them is less socially draining and keeps me socially active to a degree.

    Regarding romantic relationships, you’ll need be the judge of whether or not you are ready. I think it’s fair to give it a try as long as you can handle failure in a healthy way and don’t have abusive tendencies. Obviously, every single one of my past relationships didn’t work out and I don’t think there was a single one of them where I could not have done better. They fucking hurt like hell but that pain taught me a lot about relationships and about myself. It felt like the end of the world, but it wasn’t. No amount of advice or self reflection would have taught me those important lessons without the experience and the pain of losing the love of someone I cared so much about. As long as you can learn from your failure - forge yourself into a better person - I think you can be ready.

    I’ve been in a romantic relationship now for several years. My previous relationship was longer but like all of my other relationships, the failure and lessons learned helped me to recognize and improve on some of my flaws. It also helped me to to better understand and communicate my own needs and priorities. It all helped to create a healthier foundation for my current relationship.




  • theparadox@lemmy.worldtoPolitical Memes@lemmy.worldLock him up too
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    3 days ago

    Oh yes they do. Lenin, Mao Zedong and (to a much lesser extent) AOC and Bernie.

    Just because the right easily attracts brainless sheep, that doesn’t mean the left can’t.

    Some can, yes. Some subset of any large enough population can reasonably be assumed to behave irrationally. Similarly, some authoritarian might somehow start following a left winger.

    Worship and submission to authority is, however, inherent to the supporting belief structure of the right. It’s how fascism works. The right, purely and simply, prefers to submit to authority. It’s why the evangelical, Orthodox, and other strict religious sects are always right leaning. They revel in the simplicity of it. They crave it and fantasize about it. They cherish the pain of those who have been blamed for their problems (because a scapegoat is much easier than thinking about it). They will keep it up until (and sometimes even through) the moment it eats their face. They’ll publicly deep throat that boot and beg daddy for the other one in gratitude for it also stomping on some scapegoat.


  • Apologies, no. My point wasn’t to minimize your reference. My point was to emphasize that things are actually worse. I suspect we may find ourselves in a mix of pre-reconstruction America and a fascist dictatorship.

    This is a bucket of five alarm fires. My parents said “We’ve been here before and we’ll get through this too.” but that was month ago. I thought it was naive then and it’s willfully ignorant now.

    Congress is behind him and the Supreme Court is pretty much here to run interference. Hell, lawsuits at this point are just an opportunity for the Supreme Court to say “Fuck precedent, fuck progress, let’s roll back the clock.”

    If the government violated your civil rights, you yourself have to take them to court yourself to stop them from doing it. It won’t stop the from doing it to your neighbor, they’d need to sue the government on their own. If you win, you the courts can just decide you are a special case and nothing changes. What’s the point of civil rights if you have to personally sue the government to stop them from violating them?



  • There needs to be legal and political repercussions for politicians lying or misrepresenting the truth. Doesn’t matter if they didn’t mean to, then they should’ve done better research.

    Political repercussions? Absolutely. Legal repercussions, without a need to demonstrate that the lack of truth was intentional? Answer me this: If there were legal repercussions for lying, would the current administration be able use it to substantially burden and damage politicians that stand in it’s way? What would prevent them from doing that? How can we ensure that it isn’t used to enforce the often referenced concept of a “Ministry of Truth” in a dystopian future not unlike this one?

    I just don’t think people can handle the responsibility of formally bestowing that kind of power on a government and then ensuring it is filled with people who will not use it for their own ends.

    For the last decade I’ve had my faith in humanity shattered inch by inch, ignored scandal by ignored scandal. I kept thinking “Oh, this, this must open their eyes to what’s really happening. There is no way they can ignore such a obvious disconnect with truth and reality!” Ten years later, and I’m watching the Supreme Court dismantle a century or more of legal progress. I’m watching Congress gut funding to programs that our most disenfranchised fellow citizens rely on to survive, enrich the wealthiest citizens, and create a gestapo of loyal racist shitbags. I’m watching both political parties attack the protest of a genocide by an allied country.

    The most upset I’ve seen the country at Trump is right now. Why? Not because anything I already mentioned. It’s because even though Trump was Epstein’s best friend for a long time… and even though last time Trump was president he let Epstein die while under close watch… we’re just absolutely shocked that Trump is now claiming the documentation Epstein was keeping on all the friends and clients he helped rape children isn’t worth pursuing and doesn’t even exist.

    No. I don’t think we can handle the responsibility of empowering people the police the truth. I don’t know how to even get us to the point where we can know what’s true anymore.

    Edit: Scratch that last bit. I think the answer is to severely limit wealth and power. If you are rich and powerful enough, you can define what is fact and what is true. That needs to be prevented. Tax the excess, or fucking burn it - I don’t care at this point.


  • We don’t have to fall into pits of objective truth. If you say something, be perfectly explicit about what is a factual statement and what is your opinion.

    All three branches of the US government have been captured by people for whom truth is literally whatever they need it to be in the moment. Thinktanks can vomit up bullshit research to support whatever is necessary, at least delaying resolution and casting doubt on even the most credible, well sourced facts. The media is spineless or complicit.

    Or face penalties when your bunk is debunked.

    Fucking lol. When you make the laws, control the courts, and have the resources for multi-billion dollar lawsuits debunking is going to take a while, if it ever happens. We’ll see if even the Epstein files get swept under the rug like everything else so far.

    Science has already tread the path of “attempting to find truth through the consensus of doubts”. No need to try and trailblaze.

    Ah yes, science has managed to blaze a trail right through the bullshit and convinced the the US that we really need to counteract or at least prepare for climate change, right? We’re doing… something… right? We’re not just hitting the gas for short term profits, right? Right?

    There is a very real danger of having “lies” be a convenient, established tool to eliminate political opponents. Admittedly, these fucking fascists are perfectly willing to blaze their own authoritarian trail, regardless of precedent, and just find some bullshit reason to revoke your citizenship and ship you off to some gulag without due process. 'murica.

    Those with power are only looking to make their own truth. Thinktank research. Controlling the news media. Controlling social media. Hell, even trying to dictate reality via prompt engineering and then purposely reducing the quality of search results to encourage people to rely on biased chatbots.

    The fascists understand how to poison the well. They understand how to play the system. They know they can manipulate their base. They know they can manipulate their opponents by appealing to their better nature then taking advantage of any good faith granted by them.

    The US is different now. It’s fucked up beyond anything I could have imagined even a year ago. I don’t think standing up for truth and bringing credible sources means anything anymore.




  • Fuck off, troll.

    I voted for her because but I guarantee the vast, overwhelming majority of people you are trying to trigger didn’t think she was worse. What stopped them was having her and the Democratic party she represents ignore the will of their base on issues as fundamental as fucking genocide.

    I see it as a failure to understand game theory. However, I respect someone that is having a gun held to their head and being told to do something instinctively responding “fuck you” and refusing to do it, or doing the opposite to send a message. Unfortunately, the they are one in a hundred million and those they are trying to send a message to are too busy tonguing the assholes of wealthy Zionist donors to hear anything but their own marching orders.


  • I switched from Manjaro to Bazzite on my gaming PC. I don’t have time to read changelogs.

    Things went fantastically so I put Kinoite on my laptop. I do a lot more random shit on the laptop so it’s a bit more complicated but so far so good. Atomic distros take getting used to but it still feels less stressful than coming back to my computer after a few days and digging through like 100+ package updates and eventually saying “Fuck it” and just updating blindly.


  • yes, those are the fall guys. that’s in the interests of the capitalists, that you only hear that part, friend. the red vs blue culture war is theater.

    Yes and no. There are legitimate, progressive leftists that don’t suckle on the billionaire teat and don’t serve capitalist interests on the blue team.

    Also, not relevant. If you care about justice for those on Epstein’s client list then those who were willing to hide it need to be named and suffer consequences. Then you make it come up again and do the same thing regardless of whoever obstructs it again, red or blue. Do it until justice is served. Name and shame them afterwards, don’t let the world forget.



  • I fully believe that even the stuff that the left focuses on is actually encouraged by the right because it’s the most in your face contentious stuff

    Can you give a more specific example or two of some grating behavior or contentious claims/statements that demonstrate this problem?

    mixed with “don’t communicate with the right they’re Hitler’s all of them”

    While I don’t believe the right is all Hitlers, are we able to agree that at least some small subset of them and of their leadership have truly disturbing ideals and goals that could fairly be compared to those of Nazis?

    How do you address individuals who support those people - whether knowingly or in ignorance - without upsetting them, offending them, or putting them on the defensive?




  • To be frank, this is how you fight an administration/party that follows the rules. What this will likely do is just get TST disqualified as a religion and/or disallowed for some bullshit reason.

    Republicans don’t play fair and give fuck-all about rules unless they work in their benefit. That includes Republican politicians, Republican senators, Republican representatives, Republican appointmented judges, and Republican appointed Supreme Court justices.

    While I appreciate the game, the rules are whatever is convenient for Republicans. The game has changed.