In. New logo. Fire 30% of the workforce. Out.

You are now a fully trained management consultant.

You won’t ever need to vote again

But do it quick while the country can still afford the internet

Im still pretty unclear on the whole instance selection thing. I just tried a few until one worked.

If in doubt, just try it until it works. If it still doesnt work either learn why or give up.

I guess at this point, with muscle memory playing a large part, that what you had before is what you’ll have next.

I cant use the PlayStation controllers, I need the asymmetry of the sticks. Its almost as bad as playing on the wrong invert y setting.

Back in my day we only had one Johnson quote, and we had to share the quote.

My favourites from that :

“Stupid bastard hasn’t even got a neck” after the pitchfork is bullied to a suicide attempt and they’re still taking the piss while he’s hanging.

“Hey Barry, looks like one of them squirrels, let’s go kick the shit out of him” - dung beetles, unprompted.

You’re going with your wife. She’s your human Teflon.

As a single adult man any space not specifically targeted to you will draw heat and dirty looks. With a wife and/or kids to hide behind the world is yours for the taking.

DARLING HOLD MY HAND

Probably. I went searching specifically for reddit alternatives. Found Lemmy immediately and haven’t bothered to go looking for others. I assume many here followed the same path I did.

We’re pretty lazy as a species.

I expect the whole central curve to open to reveal a spiral staircase to the next level.

“The right person in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world” - Half Life 2

The creepy gait of his voice gives me goosebumps every time.

When i say “sorry mate I never noticed your message” I want to have plausible deniability. When they look over my shoulder and see their message, alone, in my notications tray theyre going to go “mm-hmmm” and it’ll get uncomfortable.

If theyre buried underneath 10 other messages and notifications that I have energy in Mafia Wars and my minions miss me and someone sent me lives in candy crush and rain is expected soon and my Google One is out of storage and there is motion at your front door and you have (3) new voicemails an…

I think I can get away with it. I have to deal with a smug “why don’t you just…” from them, but at least they don’t know I didnt have the emotional capacity to deal with them earlier and they won’t take it personally now.

I used to love getting foreigners who’ve only learned English for weapons/vehicles that don’t translate for some reason and swear words.

You’d get “eusbdheu sjot8fb skxbfh LE SNIPER RIFLE eudbdisn fjfbdbdju kshdbdbr LE ROCKET LAUNCHER fidndjdb skejfb behdhcui SHIT BASTARD FUCK BASTARD FUCK FUCK BASTARD SHIT”

Cheap and prepared by slaves?

Absolutely is. Im guessing only temporarily though. Pretty sure you can just stop taking your birth control pills and start ovulating properly again.

Seems like a pretty good idea as long as it doesn’t get slippery sloped. No babies while mething about.

Absolutely, and like most abhorrent evil the first step is such a positive idea you cant possibly object.

I looked at the ‘games on sale, x% off’ section on the Xbox last night, and like 80% of it is DLC for games and in-game currencies.

“GTA V for £4? Sweet! Oh, its a bunch of GTA money? Gay.”