I stress so much about being late for things that I usually plan to be 15 minutes early to things and just wait. i’ll start to flip out if things go south and i’m merely going to be on time. I talked to my therapist about this and she tells me to practice being late. sounds hard but okay i do what she tells me right?
So next poker night i decide to be 15 minutes late (other people routinely are this late so this should be fine!)
Wellll because i’m the only punctual and reliable one the host had counted on me to let people in to her condo (I had keys cuz i’m so reliable!) while she handled the big food order. She didnt bother telling me this because I had never once been late. She ended up being pretty grumpy about it which felt unfair but girl did this have the opposite effect my therapist intended 😂
It has been about 8 months since then and i’m still trying to build up the courage to be late to something. Don’t beat your children folks.
I was never beat but I hate being late. I don’t have an issue with it at all, I’m just… not late, and I don’t see why I should practice being disrespectful with other people’s time.
Anyway, then I had kids and they’re alway always slow which makes me late for everything, so I guess that’s my punishment. I try to be zen about it.
I’m just… not late, and I don’t see why I should practice being disrespectful with other people’s time.
It’s weird to me that their therapist just suggested disrespecting other people’s time like that. Like sure, give yourself grace but… just be late? Why should you change? It’s the tardy people that suck.
yes that’s a nice way of putting it. It isn’t a panic attack but I get extremely agitated, short tempered, crazed with distress and afraid to my bones. It’s very rare because i just plan to never be late but when it does happen I show up in tears and have made anyone accompanying me miserable.
Babylove, can you re-read what you just wrote, please? “…afraid to your bones” ? That’s a panic attack. It doesn’t have to be like the movies where you fall down, hyperventilating. I come from an abusive home too, so I have a pretty good idea of who told you you have to be small, but you don’t have to minimize your experiences or silence your struggles! I’m just a stranger on the internet, so take my opinion w a grain of salt, or just throw it right away if you want. You deserve to be understood and respected.
hey thank you that’s some good points you make. I always associate panic attack with like the fake heart attack feeling i guess? but yeah i’m definitely panicking lol
Damn what an unfortunate coincidence, but also totally not your fault. And you know I’m sure everything turned out fine, right? Like the event didn’t get cancelled. The “bad thing” that happened was a bunch of people standing around chatting for 15 minutes.
I’m sure you’ve had to wait on someone for longer than 15 minutes. The world doesn’t end, right?
oh yes everything was okay by the end of the night, it just didn’t help alleviate my excitability in the slightest. I’m still looking for opportunities to practice being late but i can’t. don’t want to be late to grocery pickup and mess up the workers, don’t want to be late to the vet and get cancelled don’t want to be late to a date and make them feel bad, etc.
It’s a tough scenario. It’s not like good to be late, even though it’s OK to be late.
What about a dentist or doctor’s appointment? A little risky hehe, but they’re usually late to admit you; and since you’re a betting person, that might be an interesting one to try. ;)
If it’s just a habit you’re into it’s not like it’s something bad? I guess everyone’s anxieties are different but I always make sure to be early as well. It’s just being well prepared and a responsible adult? Mine was never instilled in me it was something I learned to do naturally. Especially when it comes to something like the airport. Better to be a bit early and have some time to read a book or mess around on my phone than to be late and miss a flight. Not being critical of you, I get everyone has different mental health journeys, I’m just saying if being late requires planning and stress maybe that’s not helping the problem either.
Be late to places where you yourself are not expected. If you’re late to poker or D&D or a concert that is not good, but a party with no schedule and a blanket invite to a bunch of people is totally fine to be late because people are expected to come and go.
Even still, being on time is a good thing even if we can agree that the anxiety maybe isn’t.
I stress so much about being late for things that I usually plan to be 15 minutes early to things and just wait. i’ll start to flip out if things go south and i’m merely going to be on time. I talked to my therapist about this and she tells me to practice being late. sounds hard but okay i do what she tells me right?
So next poker night i decide to be 15 minutes late (other people routinely are this late so this should be fine!)
Wellll because i’m the only punctual and reliable one the host had counted on me to let people in to her condo (I had keys cuz i’m so reliable!) while she handled the big food order. She didnt bother telling me this because I had never once been late. She ended up being pretty grumpy about it which felt unfair but girl did this have the opposite effect my therapist intended 😂
It has been about 8 months since then and i’m still trying to build up the courage to be late to something. Don’t beat your children folks.
I was never beat but I hate being late. I don’t have an issue with it at all, I’m just… not late, and I don’t see why I should practice being disrespectful with other people’s time.
Anyway, then I had kids and they’re alway always slow which makes me late for everything, so I guess that’s my punishment. I try to be zen about it.
It’s weird to me that their therapist just suggested disrespecting other people’s time like that. Like sure, give yourself grace but… just be late? Why should you change? It’s the tardy people that suck.
Maybe if OP becomes disproportionally distraught it could be a good exercise, but then I guess my family will say I am disproportionally distraught 😁
yes that’s a nice way of putting it. It isn’t a panic attack but I get extremely agitated, short tempered, crazed with distress and afraid to my bones. It’s very rare because i just plan to never be late but when it does happen I show up in tears and have made anyone accompanying me miserable.
Babylove, can you re-read what you just wrote, please? “…afraid to your bones” ? That’s a panic attack. It doesn’t have to be like the movies where you fall down, hyperventilating. I come from an abusive home too, so I have a pretty good idea of who told you you have to be small, but you don’t have to minimize your experiences or silence your struggles! I’m just a stranger on the internet, so take my opinion w a grain of salt, or just throw it right away if you want. You deserve to be understood and respected.
Hope you have a calm and peaceful day xoxo
hey thank you that’s some good points you make. I always associate panic attack with like the fake heart attack feeling i guess? but yeah i’m definitely panicking lol
💜
If everyone’s late, then showing up late isn’t really showing up late, y’know?
I’m often a little late to larger hangs or house parties, just because I don’t want to be standing around waiting for the cool late people to show up.
I think being on time is a way of respecting another ones time.
And if someone lets me wait, they aren’t respecting my time and I… I’m not happy
Damn what an unfortunate coincidence, but also totally not your fault. And you know I’m sure everything turned out fine, right? Like the event didn’t get cancelled. The “bad thing” that happened was a bunch of people standing around chatting for 15 minutes.
I’m sure you’ve had to wait on someone for longer than 15 minutes. The world doesn’t end, right?
oh yes everything was okay by the end of the night, it just didn’t help alleviate my excitability in the slightest. I’m still looking for opportunities to practice being late but i can’t. don’t want to be late to grocery pickup and mess up the workers, don’t want to be late to the vet and get cancelled don’t want to be late to a date and make them feel bad, etc.
It’s a tough scenario. It’s not like good to be late, even though it’s OK to be late.
What about a dentist or doctor’s appointment? A little risky hehe, but they’re usually late to admit you; and since you’re a betting person, that might be an interesting one to try. ;)
If it’s just a habit you’re into it’s not like it’s something bad? I guess everyone’s anxieties are different but I always make sure to be early as well. It’s just being well prepared and a responsible adult? Mine was never instilled in me it was something I learned to do naturally. Especially when it comes to something like the airport. Better to be a bit early and have some time to read a book or mess around on my phone than to be late and miss a flight. Not being critical of you, I get everyone has different mental health journeys, I’m just saying if being late requires planning and stress maybe that’s not helping the problem either.
Be late to places where you yourself are not expected. If you’re late to poker or D&D or a concert that is not good, but a party with no schedule and a blanket invite to a bunch of people is totally fine to be late because people are expected to come and go.
Even still, being on time is a good thing even if we can agree that the anxiety maybe isn’t.
that’s a good idea maybe i should find some flexible functions to practice on