I call it ‘Ode to the late Hermione’, written to the tune of Ode to joy:
Stinker pooper farter tooter,
Smelly butt and rotten arse,
If you weren’t such a cuter,
We would send your butt to Mars.NASA would be ove-erjoyed with,
Geoforming going well. Ooooh,
How can such a little kitty,
Make Mars smell like rotten hell.Stinker pooper farter tooter,
Smelly butt and rotten arse,
If you weren’t such a cuter,
We would send your butt to Mars.But be careful, don’t light fires,
Her farts are quite flammable,
Turning Mars into a pyre,
Stinking gas cloud pole to pole.Who’s my precious little
Tiny baby boy?
Who’s my tiny little
Precious baby boy
Baby boy?
The exact melody and lyrics vary, but it’s always in the Dorian mode with lots of little arpeggios. And always sung with an operatic voice, with the “r” in “precious” heavily rolled
A sort of country blues song about how my cat would ignore my friend until they went into the bathroom to poop, and then the cat was all about hanging out and being affectionate.
“You only love me when I’m pooping…”
I have many sayings for my cat and my dog but haven’t made any songs. I have sung other songs others have made to them. Typically my cat is the making songs. She sings a sad ballad when she thinks she’s home alone as she carries her toy until she finds us.
I know the lyrics to that song, it goes MOUUUUUUR.
MOUUUUUUUURR murrrrrr MOUUUURRRR murrrrr murrrrrrr thud (she drops her toy onto the ground)
Long cat
Long cat
He is long
And is a cat
Long cat
Disclosure: my wife is the singer songwriter in the house so this is technically her’s
Usually just Kiiiittttyyyyy sung like an opera over and over. Maybe with some Italian sounding noises thrown in.
Hey there, chonky boi Sitting at your bowl so hungrily
To the tune of Industry Baby:
He is a Babyman A stimkin man And sometimes he’s a chimkin man.
He’s begging on his knees Mommy please Won’t you give me zoppity"
He’s a Sphynx. His name is Babyman, he’s stinky, and when he acts a fool we call him Chimkin Man because he looks like an uncooked chicken flailing around the house.
Zoppity is his freeze-dried venison food, named after a reference from The Office. “Bippity boppity, give me the zoppity.”
Isabella Bizzy Boo
she’s a kitty, yes you do
she is grey and furry too
she’s an Izzy Bizzy Boo
Fat bois
You beautiful phat bois
You can’t lick your back
You can’t lick your bum
Because you’re a beautiful phat boiOh, an idea- sung to the tune of Bad Boys:
Fat bois, fat bois Whatchu gonna do? Can’t lick your back, it’s to fat for you Fat bois, fat bois Whatchu gonna do? Whatchu gonna do, fluffy tubber tuuuuuuuube?
Cat who is a kitten,
Kitten who’s a cat.
Cat who is a kitten who’s a cat, cat, cat.
Imagine that! A kitten who’s a cat!Seuss. That you?
Jezz, Jezz, Jezz,
Jezz, Jezz, Jezz,
Shake your Jezzie,
Shake your Jezzie! 🎶
(Her name is Jezebel, and I’m not very creative, lol)
Pussy pussy pusskins You’re still my friend Despite all my sins Pussy pussy pusskins I nibble your toes beans And risk toxoplasmosis Because I looooooove yooooouuuu!
Cat looks at me like I’ve had a stroke and demands either a head scratch or human tuna
Aww look at the widdle.
Kitty Kitty oh so pretty, kitty kitten cat!
